This is Gonna Sting
by Kelenloth
Summary: "I cauterized the wound closed. I almost passed out a few times from the pain." This is the story of Roy closing and preventing wounds the only way he knows how. A short scene that occurs "offstage" in canon. Chapter 38-39/episode 19 Spoilers. Rated for in-canon violence and in-canon language. Second more Riza-centric chap. added with aftermath of Roy and Lust's battle.
1. Chapter 1

Pain. Sudden, sharp, and excruciating. His vision flashed and all air was forced from his lungs in a choked gasp as he felt it pierce him.

"I told you." Her words seemed more gloating now than ever, dripping with pleasure. She pressed her blades in farther and Mustang let out an agonized groan. Lust held him there a moment longer and studied the look on his face. His eyes were wide with shock, and his lips parted in unvoicable agony. She had seen it before; the beautiful look of anguish, of panic, and of horror that comes upon a man only when they first realize just how pathetic and mortal they are; when they feel the first kiss of death's cruel sting. All the same, it seemed to suit him particularly well. "The Philosopher's Stone is my core." She continued.

Gritting his teeth to suppress a cry, the Colonel's body was limp, paralyzed, useless in her hands. Just as quickly as she had pierced him, she drew the two sharp blades back out, with the satisfying sound of tearing flesh and gushing blood. Roy collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath, trying to suppress his pitiful moans.

"I really hate to do this." He heard her say as one by one she spilled his fingers from his gloves. His mind screamed at him to stop her, but his body would not obey. "You were a prime candidate for sacrifice and all…But you forced me to kill you." Lust continued, almost sounding honestly sad. Roy could feel his glove – his last hope of using his flames – slip out of his grasp.

He ordered his body to stand up, to fight her. To stop her. But it was no use. He could feel the blood spreading now. He managed to move his hand to his wound. He heard the sound of tearing fabric, and the tattered shreds of his alchemic array came floating down before him. "Damn you." He forced out through gritted teeth.

"Save your breath." Was the quick, savage reply. "I want you to watch poor Jean bleed to death." She walked around the downed figure of her last triumph, "Then you can die." He could hear the twisted smile in her words as she left him there in a pool of blood and walked away.

The very thought made him reel. But Roy Mustang's world was fading quickly now. "J-Jean…" He called, his voice tight and hoarse from the pain. "Hey, answer me!" But there was no answer. It hurt to shout, but Roy did not care. "Havoc!" He called to the man beside him on the floor. Jean had not moved a muscle since falling, but Roy was not the kind of man to give up. Not on anyone. "You can't die!" he yelled at his subordinate, unaware if the man was actually still alive or not.

Images flashed in Roy's mind. Of Havoc. And of Hughes. He saw himself standing by the side of another grave, knowing that it was his fault. He would not let that happened again. Not on his watch. Not ever. "You can't die before I do, dammit." The Colonel's voice was growing panicked now as he struggled to try and sit up, trying to see Havoc. To make sure he wasn't already gone. "Havoc…" his voice cracked. "Havoc!" Nothing.

"Come on…" Mustang muttered to himself. He opened his shirt and pressed his left hand to his wounded side, then braced himself and poured all of his effort into pushing himself off the ground. With a cry of pain, he dragged himself into a sitting position, leaning heavily on his other arm. The torn muscles in his abdomen screamed in rebellion. But he did not care. He pulled himself to Havoc's side. "I won't allow you to die." He said aloud, gripping the second lieutenant's shoulders and turning him onto his back, lifting his face from the growing pool of his own blood. Even if it killed him he would not let this man die.

Still trying to maintain pressure on his own wound, Roy clumsily unfastened and pried the protective vest from Jean's still unresponsive body, and ripped open his shirt. He had been pieced straight through, with exit wounds just above his naval and entrance wounds at the base of his spine. Roy did not bother checking for a pulse. Lieutenant Havoc had to be alive.

He looked around the room for something – anything – that he could use to stop the bleeding. Pressing Jean's torn shirt against the wound was not enough. Roy cursed his lack of medical training. He knew next to nothing about healing alchemy as well. What good was being an alchemist at all if he couldn't save his friend!? But all he knew was fire. And even that was lost now. If only…

And then he saw it. A small reflection on the wet floor where it had fallen next to Havoc's hand. Roy grabbed the lighter and flicked it harder and faster than anyone had ever flicked a lighter before. He had never approved of the young officer's cancer-inducing habit, but he was thanking whatever God might be for it now. If only the blasted, waterlogged thing would light.

And then what? He thought. What use is one little flame? He needed to control it. Roy glanced once more at the shreds of his gloves lying on the ground. She had not made this easy on him, that was for sure. Only one option presented itself to the Colonel's mind, and he had no hesitation in following it through.

Roy did not use his knife much, but like any good soldier he had one. Pulling a small pocket blade from his belt, Roy steeled himself for what he was about to do. Resettling himself, leaning against Havoc's downed form, he pulled his left hand away from his wound and tried to steady himself. He tightened his right hand into a fist, and, holding the blade like a pen, brought the tip to his skin, praying that he might finish before he bled out and his vision faded entirely, and trying to keep his hands from shaking.

He knew the design by heart. More than my heart, by nature. It was the most natural design he knew. It was a part of him. But still, on the tender flesh of his hand, he begrudged every line. The circle was the hardest, but it had to be perfect. "Hold on Havoc…" he muttered, biting his lip as he lifted the blade only to set it on his skin once more and carve another line. "Hang in there." He coughed. "Almost… done." Roy clenched and stretched his hand, trying to dull the pain. He grabbed the lighter again and, changing the water into its component parts, at last achieved a spark.

As Roy looked back to his subordinate's wounds a sudden wave of nausea washed over him, and he clutched his side once more."Dammit…" he muttered again, breathing heavily and trying to steady himself. He needed to hurry or he would bleed to death before he could save Havoc. The young soldier had still not moved. Taking a deep breath, Mustang finally pressed his hand to Jean's throat, feeling for a pulse. It would be no good to burn a corpse.

"He's alive." Roy's eyes went wide as he felt it, his determination returning. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant. This is gonna sting." Roy's bleeding hand hovered over his friend's wounds. It had been a long time since he had done anything like this. Causing explosions was one thing, killing or wounding people another, but this. This was entirely different. He had to be controlled. He had to calculate it precisely.

Roy's hands shook as the blue light of an alchemic reaction lit the space between his hand and Havoc's bleeding wounds. He took a deep breath and raised the lighter in his other hand andsparked the flames.

"_Gaah_!"

"Havoc!" The flames were out moments after they were lit, but not before an agonized moan forced itself from Havoc's lips.

"C-Colonel…" Havoc was not fully conscious, but neither was he immune to the pain.

"Don't speak." Roy ordered. "Stay with me, Havoc. I need to stop the bleeding. I'm sorry, but this is the only way." Havoc did not even have the strength to nod. Roy carefully rolled the other man over, exposing the wounds on his back. He prayed the Second Lieutenant would fall unconscious again, to save him from the pain.

As he adjusted the oxygen and hydrogen levels surrounding Havoc's wounds, Roy realized that the last time he had done this, the last time he had burned anyone so closely, so carefully, it was his First Lieutenant's back. Forcing the terrible memories from his mind, Roy determined once again to stay focused on his goal. "Sorry, Havoc." He sparked the lighter once more.

There was no response this time, and for that Roy was glad. Being burnt was bad enough, but being awake for it. That was torture.

Rolling Havoc onto his back once more, Roy checked his pulse again. It was weak, but it was there. He had done all he could for Havoc. The man _would_ live. Good. Now… Roy's mind faded as he considered what to do next. The easiest thing seemed like laying down to die.

Taking another deep breath, Roy's breath hitched, his body instinctively curling into his terribly wounded side. He could not even voice a curse as he felt himself collapse onto the wet floor. Adrenaline was wearing off now. Spots danced before his was it then. This was how it ended. This was how he died.

Something in Roy's mind protested. This was no way to behave. He could not give up. Not now. Not ever. Not until he had achieved his goal. But… laying here felt so nice. And breathing was so difficult. The Colonel's eyes fluttered closed.

_*BANG*_

Roy Mustang's eyes shot open as the sound of a gunshot rang through the room. One thought immediately filled his mind: The Lieutenant.

Roy's hand shot to his side, cringing at the contact with his own wound, and began to transmute. He could not see the wound, lying on his back. But it didn't matter. He surrounded his side with flammable gas.

*_Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang_*

Rapid fire shots followed quickly, and Roy knew that Riza had unloaded her handgun. Lust had found her.

Without even stopping to brace himself for what he knew wascoming, Roy lit the spark.

"_GAAAH_!" Sounds of pure agony were ripped from his throat.

_*Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang*_

The Lieutenant's second magazine was now empty.

Roy's vision blurred and flashed as collapsed to the ground again, unable to stop himself from crying out. He knew what it felt like to be burned, of course he did. But even after all this time it somehow surprised him. Even after he had extinguished the flames, the pain did not stop. He was intimately familiar with everything about fire and burning flesh. But this time, knowing that all of that was the smell of his own flesh burning was more sickening than he could have ever imagined. He tried to focus on something, anything other than the lingering, burning pain.

He knew he was close to passing out, and if he passed out he would die. He could not die. Not now. She needed him. He pressed his left hand to the wound. He had cauterized it, but not completely. He had only managed to seal the front. "Dammit…" he muttered once more, tears filling his eyes from the pain as he tried to roll and expose his still bleeding back.

_***BANG***_

The loud shot of a heavy caliber pistol punctuated the air. Roy knew how much ammunition Riza had ready at hand, and he knew she was running out.

_***BANG***_

Cursing again, Roy closed his eyes to the pain, flooded the air with oxygen and hydrogen again, and prayed that he would not pass out.

_***BANG***_

He flicked the lighter.

_***BANG***_

He did not even try to stifle the tortured wails or stop the tears that filled his eyes. Clenching his teeth and panting in labored breaths, Roy pressed his hand to his cauterized wound. There was no more time.

_***BANG***_

Roy let out a cry as he shoved himself off the floor with all the strength he could muster, moving fast before the pain could overwhelm him.

_***BANG***_

It was her last bullet.

"I'll be… back…. Havoc." He whispered, his voice breaking. Setting his eyes on the goal ahead, Roy limped forward, clutching his subordinate's cigarette lighter to his side and leaning heavily on the walls of the dark hallway.

As he made his way back out the way he and Havoc had come, Mustang listened for any sign of the Lieutenant. He heard none. Not a word. Not a gunshot. Nothing. As the haunting silence seeped further into the Colonel's mind, images rose in his mind's eye again. Images of Hughes. Of Riza lying dead in his arms. Her blood on his hands. His mind rebelled: He had not lost Havoc, he would not lose her.

"I'm…. coming… Lieutenant…" Roy panted as he forced himself to limp on through the dark hallway. Delirious from the pain, Roy could only hope that he was going in the right direction. He followed the curving wall in the dark, shoving one foot in front of the other, trying to ignore the wave of nausea that washed over him every time he put weight on his left foot. If he stopped, he knew that he could never get back up again. But the tunnel just kept on going, and there was no sign of Riza. Fear began to make its way into Roy's mind. He tried to press himself to go faster. They had to be close now. Roy knew he could not last much longer. They had to be close.

Ahead of him, Roy could have sworn he saw the blue light of an alchemic reaction. Alphonse. Perhaps he was with the Lieutenant. That meant she might have still been alive. Roy groaned aloud as he pushed himself one step further, then one more. He heard something crashing, the sound of Alphonse's armor meeting a blade.

"Such a shame…" Roy gasped and almost stopped as he heard Lust's voice echoing through the halls once more. Riza's attacks had not stopped her any more than his. "You are a perfect candidate." Roy did not know what that meant, but he knew one thing: She had no intention of letting Alphonse live.

"Listen, Alphonse." Roy's eyes went wide as he heard Lieutenant Hawkeye's voice. "Leave me and save yourself." Riza insisted. All strength was gone from her voice. Roy pushed himself into the closest thing he could manage to a run. Stumbling along with one hand pressed to his burnt, torn side, his teeth grit, his heart racing.

"No." He heard Alphonse's frightened voice. Roy felt as if he were running in slow-motion.

"_Run_!" Riza pleaded. The pure despondence in her voice felt to the Colonel like a stab in the chest. He crashed against the wall again as another wave of agony hit him.

"**I won't**!" Alphonse insisted.

"_**GO**_!" Riza shouted back. Roy could hear the tears in her voice. It had been years since he had seen the Lieutenant cry. What had Lust done?

"I won't leave you!" Alphonse repeated, as Roy finally found to the door. Crashing against the wall, Roy sucked in deep, painful breaths as he prepared himself to face Lust once more. "I'm sick of watching people die!" Alphonse continued "And I can't just sit back and take it anymore!" Roy stopped as he heard the young man's determined words. "I won't let anyone else get killed! Not when I could protect them!" The sentence was ended as Lust sliced through Alphonse's metal body. Nothing the boy did would stop her. Only he could do that now.

Roy took a deep breath and forced himself from the wall. Alphonse was right. No one would die tonight. Not on his watch. Not Havoc, not Riza, not Al. It was down to him and Lust now. He had survived this long. He would not die tonight. If he had to kill her a million times over, he would dot it.

Seeing her once again, sudden rage surged in Roy's heart. She had stabbed Havoc, and nearly killed him. But worst of all, she had made Lieutenant Hawkeye cry. It was enough to make Roy's blood boil.

"Well said, Alphonse Elric." The words left his mouth before he even realized he was speaking. They sounded far stronger and fiercer than he felt. "I couldn't agree more." It was now or never. Already transmuting the air around his enemy, Roy made eye contact with Alphonse, and did not even need to nod to communicate his charge: Shield the Lieutenant. He raised his hand, and before Lust could even turn around, unleashed Hell.

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed that. It was my frist FMA story, just a little in-cannon scene that happened "offstage" in the Manga and Brotherhood. i've written a bit more, but I don't know if I'll publish it. And oh btw YES I love Royai, but this story wasn't about that.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This story was always going to be a one-shot, and about half this chapter was going to be in it. But I didn't like how it ended, so I ended it early. But I finally came up with an ending that I'm at least somewhat okay with (I still don't like it) so here, you may have a bit more. Thanks for reading! Reviews are love.

* * *

"Colonel!" The pure desperation of the Lieutenant's voice broke through the now still air as all light faded from Mustang's vision. "Sir, hang in there!" She insisted. Roy did not realize that he had collapsed to the ground until he felt her hands lifting him up, but he could not stand. The pain and nausea had come back, and with a vengeance, like being punched in the gut my Major Armstrong. But worse.

A grim smile came upon his face at her concern. "Lieutenant, are you alright?" He could not help asking as she lay him back on the floor. Her utterly forsaken words still rang in his head, and he knew that whatever had happened, it was his fault. The terror and rage that filled him as he had come upon the scene were greater than he could describe.

"Forget about me," Riza all but ordered. "We need to get you some help!" her voice cracked one last time, betraying her deep worry as she saw his red, mutilated flesh.

"Thank you, Alphonse, for looking after my subordinate." Roy once more pushed away his concern. As long as he was not thinking about it, he could pretend it didn't hurt like Hell.

"Uuh, sure. We need to call you a doctor!" Alphonse's young voice echoed Riza's concern.

"Yes, hurry." Roy's vision was fading again, "Call a Doctor… For Havoc." He ground out. The nausea was back.

"What happened to Lieutenant Havoc?" Riza was examining his wound, determining if he could stand or be carried.

"She stabbed him. Alphonse, please, could you go and find him? Down the hall, just…" Roy's breath caught in a pained cough "Just look for the water. He needs a doctor more than I do."

"Yes sir." Alphonse nodded before jogging out into the hall, his broken armor clanking loudly the whole way.

"Should I go and call a doctor, Sir?" It was obvious from her tone that Riza would do so whether he said to or not. But Mustang's answer held her back.

"No." He sucked in another sharp breath, "Don't… don't leave me, Lieutenant. Please." Roy's bloodstained hand found hers and gripped it tight, trying to deal with the pain.

"Sir…" Riza let him tighten his vice grip on her hand, not caring about the pain it caused her. If he never let go, she would be glad for it.

"Lieutenant." Roy's voice was far graver than before now that Alphonse was gone. He grimaced, but forced his eyes open and locked his eyes on hers. "Are. You. All. Right.?" He emphasized each syllable through his teeth.

Riza's jaw clenched in frustration. "Sir, you have a gaping hole in your side that has been burned shut and you can't stand. Of course I'm not alright, you have me worried sick." If he wanted the stern truth, that was it.

'I'm sorry." He coughed through a forced smile, still breathing heavily. "Wh-what happened back there?" The smile was gone.

"I…" Riza wanted to change the subject. She wanted to forget what had just happened and never mention it again. She wanted him to be concerned more about him for once in his life. But she knew he was right. She had to face this. "I thought you were dead, sir." She admitted, eyes cast down, she busied herself trying to examine his wound.

Roy did not respond immediately. Even though her suspicion was completely reasonable, it still hurt him somehow that she had doubted him in this. Then again, perhaps he was simply overconfident. Often it got him in trouble, of which she was quick to save him, but on rare occasions such as this, overconfidence saved lives.

"Sir," Riza spoke again before he did. "You _need_ a doctor. So does Havoc. Please, let me go send a message. I will be right back." She stood up from her kneeling place by his side.

Roy nodded. "Go, Lieutenant."

Without another word, she was gone. He watched her run out from his place on the floor, and listened to her footfalls as they echoed down the hall and away.

He did not know how long he law there. He tried to keep his breathing steady, tried to keep himself awake until she returned. It must have been mere moments later, but his weary mind wondered if it had been hours, days, or lifetimes.

"We need to get out of here." When he forced his eyes open she was kneeling at his side, assessing the situation. She had wiped the tear-streaks from her eyes, but he could still make out the deep concern in them despite her best attempts to put on a good soldier's face. "The medics had already been called, along with two ambulances." She examined the deep cuts on the back of his hand with a grim expression.

"Wha-Alphonse?" Roy asked drearily, trying to focus on the conversation as Riza next slipped her left arm under his shoulders and tried to take his right hand in a way that would not aggravate the engraved wound there.

"No, Führer Bradley." She said quickly "Do you think you can walk?"

"What was-"

"Colonel?"

Roy moved his arm to help physically push himself from the ground and into a sitting position. He tried to restrain a cry of pain, and was thankful for Hawkeye's strong hand pushing up on his back, else he would have fallen. "You said they were coming, why can't I just stay here?" He asked through gritted teeth. Riza glanced up.

"I'm not sure it's wise to draw too much attention to what we've found here." She said, and Roy's eyes were drawn up to the huge alchemic display on the wall to his left.

"I see your point." Riza draped Roy's right arm about her shoulders but he was still reluctant to move.

"Alphonse is already getting Havoc back to the main laboratory." She said, adjusting her arms around his shoulders and preparing to help him stand. Roy took a few deep breaths, his eyes closed. He looked closer to passing than to helping her walk him out. "Would you like me to carry you?" Riza asked bluntly with a striking tone of normalcy, as if it was a perfectly standard request. Roy shot her a look, but she continued staring with all sincerity. He knew that if he tested her she would actually slip her other arm under his knees and pick him up before he could stop her and carry him the whole way out.

"I'll be fine." He grunted, doing his best to shift his weight and concentrate his effort on getting to his feet. As soon as he was ready Riza lifted him up, taking as much of his weight as he would allow her to and wrapping her arm about his waist to steady him.

"What was Bradley doing here?" Roy tried to think about anything other than his injury as they limped, step by step, to the door.

"I don't know, but I don't like it." Riza was still glancing around, ready even now to protect him from unseen assailants, though they both knew she was out of ammo.

Roy continued to press his left hand hard to his side as they made their slow passage out of the bright white space and into the dark tunnels. He could hear Alphonse's clanking armor somewhere ahead of them. The boy moved slowly, carefully. Roy was sure he was carrying a heavily injured but hopefully living Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc.

"What happened back there, sir?" Riza tried to keep her commanding officer awake and talking as she half steered and half carried him down the tunnels.

The passage did not seem quite so long this time as when he had stumbled through before, but with their slow and painful progress he still begrudged every inch of the unnatural, curved hall. In places better lit they could still see the crimson stains left on the walls and floor by Mustang's earlier passage; haunting red lines where his fingers traced and fell on the wall for support and a steady trail dripping from his blood-soaked shirt and coat.

"I could ask the same of you." Roy's pain was making him gruffer than normal, and his hobbling along made him frustrated.

"I'm not the one with a wound." Riza defended. She tried not to betray in her voice how much it hurt her that she had not been there, that he had been injured and she was not there to help him or save him.

"I heard what happened, Lieutenant." Roy said simply, sucking in a sharp breath as Riza shifted her grip to take more of his weight. "Sound echoes off these walls." As if to prove his point, a faint '_What happened?_' echoed off the tunnels around them. They were nearing the exit, and could hear the medic's voices. Roy guessed that they had found Havoc.

He did not want to think about what the room must have looked like where Alphonse found the Second Lieutenant. The explosion, the water, and the massive amounts of blood, with Havoc lying unconscious, burnt, bloody, and stripped of his armor in the middle.

It would have been almost as much of a shock as he had when rounding a corner and finding his First Lieutenant, the strongest person he had ever known, crashed defeated to her knees with tears streaming down her face, pleading for Alphonse to run away simply let her give in to death.

Riza had not answered, and so Roy spoke again. "I never want to hear you talk like that again, Lieutenant."

"Yes sir." Was the fast, honest reply. "I'm sorry sir." She added less confidently.

Roy stopped for a moment with a stifled groan and tried to reposition his weight across her shoulders to relieve the stress on his left side. "So am I, Lieutenant." He gripped her shoulders tightly as they continued. "So am I."

Presently they found the exit door back into the main lab. Alphonse was there, looking concerned as he ever was, with his broken armor stained somewhat with blood. Roy muttered another thanks to him as they came through the door, but his attention was soon captured by his downed Lieutenant. Havoc was laying on the ground, already surrounded by doctors. Seeing him now in the light, Roy could not help but cringe at the ugly red marks that he had left on his friend and subordinate's red flesh. Havoc would hate him for this. He did not want to think what his own side looked like, and he did everything in his power to not think about his First Lieutenant's back, which his arm was still draped over.

Roy was close to passing out now and Riza could tell. She had taken more and more of his weight throughout their trek and would have been fully carrying him by now if they had not found the door, and had she not been kind enough to save whatever scraps of dignity Mustang might have left. She laid him on the ground next to Havoc, where he too was soon surrounded in a mob of paramedics and moved to a stretcher.

A few moments later and they were both loaded into the back of the waiting ambulances and driving down the road in a blur of noise and light. What was astounding about the whole thing was the real anticlimax of it all. The doctors surely felt that the action had just begun, but in truth Roy had ended it some time ago. Riza knew that they would both live, but still she stood there a moment staring off into the blackening night as the vehicles carrying her fellow officers and friends faded from view. Silence settled in the cool humid air. It would rain by morning.

"Let me drive you home, Alphonse." Riza turned to the young boy who stood behind her after a long silence. She placed a comforting hand on his cold, hollow frame. She did not know how much it would help, but she always tried to treat him like she would anyone else, like she would treat Edward.

"But don't you need to go see Colonel Mustang?" Alphonse's childish voice echoed.

"He'll be alright, and probably unconscious for a few hours. I'll go after them soon enough and be there when he and Havoc wake up. But first I need to get you back to your friend. I'm sure Winry is worried about you." She turned and walked briskly towards Colonel Mustang's car, Alphonse right behind her. Somehow he was not at all surprised when she pulled out a key to her superior officer's personal motor vehicle and soon had it running, with Al in the back seat. He watched her drive in silence through the quiet night.

"I'm sorry about what happened." He heard her voice at last.

"Huh?" His head shot up to meet her eyes through the rear view mirror, which his large armor all but blocked from its purpose of viewing the road behind them.

"I'm sorry you had to see that" Riza continued, "Lust, and Havoc, all of that blood and fire, and… me." She was looking at the road in front of her and maintained a nearly flat tone. She blinked twice, and then found his gaze in the mirror. "Thank you, Alphonse. You saved my life back there."

"Oh… Well it was Colonel Mustang who…"

"No." She stopped his young apologetic voice with a firm command. "It wasn't Mustang or Edward or anyone else who stood up for me back there, who stood up to _her_. It was you. She could have killed you."

"I know…" Al still sounded like he was being scolded for recklessness.

Riza let a genuine smile come to her face. "You were really brave back there." She told him in the gentlest tone he had ever heard her use. She sounded, if he could find the right word for it; proud. "I'm sure Edward is proud to have a brother like you."

If Alphonse could have blushed, he might have. As it was he sat quietly in the back seat, fiddling with a broken piece of his armor. In his silence Riza continued.

"I hope you can get your armor fixed. I can get some forms to get the military to pay for it if need be."

"I'll be alright when brother gets back." An almost visible sadness came upon the boy in the backseat as he remembered that his brother was still gone.

"I'm sure your mechanic friend can help to." Riza was pulling into the hotel parking lot now. "If you ever need any help…" She said as he climbed out of the car, "Just call. I owe you one, Alphonse Elric. Thank you."

"No problem." He waved.

As Riza pulled out of the parking lot and turned toward the main road, she caught a glimpse of Winry running out to greet her returned friend. She smiled. Alphonse deserved to have friends like that. Her smile faded as she merged onto the much busier main street of Central City and worked to find her way to the Hospital, now alone in the dark car.

Somehow, in those slow and silent minutes, all of the weariness, defeat, and worries of the past day crept back into her mind. The shadows whispered her own words back to her again and again, pleading for her life to end. And the Colonel's strict command. He was right. She had lost it. She had doubted him, and given up. He had trusted her to always remain true to their cause, to keep a cool head and be the voice of reason on their team and she had failed him. What good was she now if she couldn't even do that?

But all the same, as the memory replayed itself in her head, she remembered just how reasonable she had found her reaction at the time, after hearing the Mustang was dead. The very thought repulsed her. Mustang, _dead_. She had promised herself years ago that the only way she would allow Roy Mustang to leave this world would be by a bullet put there by her own hand. And she had no intentions of killing him any time soon.

All the same, tonight was the first time in a long time that she had been confronted with the very real option of failure: That no matter her intentions or promises, Roy might leave this world by another's brutal hand and leave her behind. She had promised years ago to follow him into Hell. Tonight was the first time that she realized that she would actually do it. She would fight to avenge him, of course, but if that failed, as it had tonight… It frightened her to admit, but she knew she could not go on living after something like that. If Mustang died by anyone's hand, she would fall by the same. Be it her own or anyone else's. She would follow him to the grave, and to whatever lay beyond it.

The Colonel was right, of course. She should never give up on life. As she made her way through the darkened streets of Central, Riza made a silent vow that she would never give up on the Colonel's life again. Not unless she held his lifeless body in her hands, not unless she personally pulled the trigger, would she ever give up hope that that impossible man was still alive. And as long he still had life, she could not give up her own. The next time someone told her Mustang was dead, she would look them in the eye and say 'You lie'. And the next time someone thought she was dying, she would look them in the eye and say the same.

At last, she arrived at the hospital. She parked Roy's car a bit further away than strictly necessary, always assuming that someone else might need to park closer than she in a place like this. She turned the engine off and spent a few minutes sitting alone in the dark car, catching her breath. She opened the glove compartment and refilled all three of her pistols with the extra ammunition she found there. It was her own and Roy always kept some there for her, just as she always carried his spare keys.

Riza never liked hospitals. They were chaotic, and full of suffering. She liked doctors as much as anyone did, and was very grateful for hospitals, but she never liked being in them. But she steeled herself for it and went in. She asked for Mustang and after waiting for what might have been an hour, was led down a long hall. She knew which room it was before they got there because Roy was awake, and rather unhappy. She could not blame him, but between all that had happened and the drugs not irritating his system, Riza had a feeling that Roy's version of a tongue lashing was coming. She already knew his thoughts on what happened, and she agreed with them. She just had to let his voice them formally. All the same, this was going to sting.


End file.
